Exhausted and overworked,
Santa Claus has decided to convert to Judaism
to lessen his workload and
decrease his stress.

Mr. Claus's first inkling that Judaism
was his new intended path was when he was unloading one
particularly heavy bag of gifts...

and muttered "Oy Oy Oy!" instead of "Ho Ho Ho!"
Santa took this as divine inspiration
and began some serious reflection on the matter.
Mr. Claus sat down at his desk in the North Pole...

and itemized the benefits
of bringing toys to Jewish children.
Most obvious was that there were much less children to service,
approximately 3,000,000 Jewish children,

as opposed to almost 500,000,000 Christian children.
The next obvious benefit was that he had eight days of Chanukah
to deliver all of these gifts,

instead of jamming the entire shipment into one night,
which required the already weary Santa and his reindeer
to travel at the speed of light to accomplish the task.

Finally, the straw that broke the reindeers' back
was the realization that Jewish households
had a far more delicious cuisine to offer:

Gefilte fish, chicken soup, blintzes, knishes and the like
are a much better fare than the milk and cookies that
he got bored of after centuries of deliveries.

Circumcision won't be necessary for Santa,
because that was already been taken care of
in a freak accident involving frostbite
after getting stuck in a tight chimney.

Santa has left the frigid, lonely darkness of the North Pole
and has begun his toy shop anew
in the sunny climes of Miami Beach, Florida.

He has fired all of those annoying elves
and replaced them
with nice Jewish retirees from New York.
Santa's really merry now.