'Twas the Night Before Pesach

'Twas the night before Pesach, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, except for the mouse.
The food was all baked in the kitchen with care
In trust that the Angel would pass o'er there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of matzo-balls danced in their heads.
And Ima in her kerchief and Tati in his cap
Had just settled down for a long, spring nap.

When out in the kitchen, there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen they flew like a flash
While passover dishes fell down and crashed.

The moon in the sky out the window that night
Gave a lustre of beauty that eased their fright.
Then what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But Elijah's chariot, bringing the seer.

He blessed the herbs, the fish and the salt,
Approved that there was no butter or malt.
He spoke not a word, but sipped his wine,
Then spotted the afikoman, which made Tati whine.

Smiling, he noticed the books, all prepared,
Knowing the four questions everyone shares:
"When is it over?" "When do we eat?"
"May I have more wine?" "Can I please leave my seat?"

He blessed them with joy, turned in a flash,
Grabbed our atlas for Moses, threw open the sash.
We heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Pesach to all, and to all, a good night!"

by Dr. Elizabeth Severino
with inspiration from
Clement Clarke Moore, Judy Gross,
and Rabbi Yossi Serebryanski

'Twas the Night After Pesach

'Twas the night after Pesach and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The matzoh, the farfel, the charoses I ate
After both sederim they had gone to my waist!

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
As I walked to the shul (less a walk than a "lumber!")—
I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared,
The turkey with gravy, the beef—nicely rared!

The wine and the matzoh balls, Migdal kosher cheese
The way I'd never said, "No more, if you please!"
As I tied myself into my apron again;
Spied my reflection disgustedly, then...

I said to myself, "You are such a weak wimp!
You can't go to shul resembling a blimp!"
So away with the last of the meatballs so sweet,
Get rid of the turkey, chopped liver and meat.

Every last morsel I like must be banished
'Til all the additional ounces have vanished!
I won't have those good macaroons from the box
And wait until next week!—OY! Bagels and lox!

I won't have the lukshen, farfel, or p'chah; -
I'll munch on a carrot or tie shut my own jaw!
It's three days of yom tov and Shabbat is still
To come with yet more fleishik meals to fulfill!

If I have to cook one more chicken, I'll riot!
So, a zissen Pesach to all and to all—a good diet!

—the Web

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